Jimmy Fallon is an ass...and so are we

Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you discover something phenomenal about yourself? Yeah, well, neither have we. Until today. We decided to go eat lunch at a TexMex restaurant, because we had this amazing coupon where you buy a burrito and get one free. Little did we know, our plan was already being thwarted by our mother. Upon walking into the dining room where said coupon was left at an earlier time, we were horrified to discover the coupon was missing! Thrown away like a piece of unwanted trash. And even worse, there was no sympathy from the town folk who managed the restaurant. Apparently, "my mom threw away my coupon" is about as legit as "my dog ate my homework." So of course, we paid full price, unlike the lucky sons of bitches swarming the restaurant having safely held onto their coupon,and thus gaining a free burrito. To make matters worse, we happened upon the subject of our sense of humor. Yes, you might say it is a little dark....and unique as well (AHA HA! Like Hell). But up until this point, we have always thought it was just other people. They don't get us. We were truly hilarious in our own eyes. So what was it about us that people just didn't get? Then, it hit us. Like the spicy burrito will hit our guts, soon....We're not funny. We're the Jimmy Fallons of our community! Laughing at yourself is supposedly a good thing. What they fail to mention is that laughing at your own JOKES is where you start to look like an asshole. So all those times of watching Jimmy on television and feeling so sad for him, knowing that he thinks he is funny, but no one else is laughing, really burst our bubbles. We realized that we had been watching ourselves on television, all along. So we ate about a third of our burrito in silent reverence of the brave Jimmy Fallons of the world! We understand you! Don't fret because others don't think you're hilarious. They matter not! Because you are your biggest fan, and that is all that should matter in this world! DAMN THE MASSES! DAMN THE FEW! And all in between. Those that don't see your humor are just not worthy of your talents. So continue to make awkward jokes, and continue to laugh at them yourself. SO what if you have no friends? You have yourself and the voices in your head.
Now, I must go poo, for the burrito has hit South! To all a good afternoon, and happy pooping!