As I was discussing orgasms with my other half today, I realized that it may be helpful to men,and maybe some women, to know what REALLY turns a woman on. My list will almost guarantee that she will explOde (you notice what I did there? I emphasized the "O". Hehe) around you. As a disclaimer, I am no sex expert, but as a woman I know what it takes to turn a us into a puddle of sexy soup.
- Bringing the heat- As history has shown through movies and advice from other columns, it's supposedly super romantic to fill the room with candles while you woo your woman to her brink. In all honestly though, that is really dangerous and all a woman will think about is whether or not a candle with light her $200 curtains on fire. Instead of putting both of your lives at risk, try this little move. About five minutes before go time, toss her undies into the dryer until they are really warm. This will give her the heat she's looking for and it's also incredibly arousing to a woman to have that warmth near her lady cave.
- Diamonds are a girl's best friend- Sometimes all a girl wants is a pretty, shiny object given to her by her man. Contrary to popular beliefs, diamonds aren't always what she vying for. Alternatively, she may want a chrome dildo. You heard me right. Nothing is more exciting than a little friend who is cold, hard, and shiny. Just the words "chrome dildo" is enough to throw her over the edge. This gift would also be paired wonderfully with warm panties.
- Whoa! Take it easy, tiger...Or maybe harder- Some men think that all a woman wants is a romantic evening of sweet and sensual love making. This is not always the case. Actually, I do believe that most women would contest that this is not the case most of the time. Sometimes we just want a good, rough fuck! We want to be thrown against a wall (bed, table, counter, shower, car, elevator...hell, as long as we won't fall to our death any place will do) and pleasured in ways that would make E.L. James blush.
- Oh, what beautiful eyes you have- If you haven't noticed, men love our candy mountains of pleasure. I know, that's news to me too. But what is the sexiest part of a man? His forearms. A mans forearms is as sexy to us as our cleavage is to a man. It's actually been proven...by real life Scientist, Psychologists, and Anthropologists. Forearms show a man's strength. So, show off those forearms and if you want to really amp it up, get a sexy tattoo. Of course, that's dependent on whether you have nice arms. Flabby arms or super skinny arms are like mosquito bite tits
- Sorry, I can't come to the fish fry. I'm tied up tonight- I think this topic is the most misconstrued of them all. All women have a BDSM side. Most women won't admit because it is considered taboo due to their culture or religion. I promise you, it's there and if you're around long enough it will eventually come out in the relationship in one way or another. Every woman dreams of being able to take control in the bedroom or BE taken control of by a man. It's so damn sexy! This feeling actually goes back to the caveman days. Now, your lady friend may not be as over the top as others, but little actions will show that she deep down wants to be handcuffed to a post and pleasured until she has earth shattering orgasms...and yes, I pluralized orgasm.
- Will you be my Barry White?- I once dated this guy who's voice was so low I felt like I was dating Rocky Balboa. It was so hot! I could listen to him talk all day long because it literally set my loins on fire. A deep voice is so carnal and delicious. If you have a high pitched voice you may want to look into getting a voice box or one of those Darth Vader helmets...because who doesn't want to go to bed with a James Earl Jones sound-alike? Next time you are trying to coerce your lady into having warm panty, chrome dildoing, role-playing, forearm lusting, rough sex, channel your inner Barry White and enjoy the ride.
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