Warning: This May Contain Offensive Material

If you are a homosexual sociopath, don't read this. My intention is not to offend.

                Let me begin by stating that I hate no one, and this is not a reflection on my other half (just me). This blog post is not to discuss my political views on either the subject of sociopaths or homosexuals; although, I fear, at some points it may be necessary. Maybe I should just start off by assuring you that I once had a homosexual affair? Ok, so now that the cat's out of the bag, so to speak, let's begin this post.
               My S.O. has told me he wants kids. Normally, women our age are jumping at the chance to pop one of those cute little bundles of shit out. Not me! Do you want to know my biggest fear as far as babies go? I'll tell you. It isn't that he/she may come out mentally handicapped, or even physically handicapped. I think I could handle either of those scenarios; perhaps not with ease, but with help, surely. No. My biggest fear is that my baby will exit the womb a homosexual sociopath. It doesn't help that his/her mother has a deep set attraction to the female body. Nor does it help that his/her mother enjoys some incidents of pain. Maybe I'm being melodramatic, right? I mean, everyone enjoys a little pain, correct? It's what lets us know we are living. But still. The thought lingers in my skull like a fly hovers over a roadkill carcass.
                 So the implications of this fear suggest a sort of homophobism. This is not true, at all, though. I am not afraid my child will be homosexual. I am afraid of the conflict that comes with the child being homosexual, knowing that both my S.O.'s and my own family might not accept that in their own grandchild. I don't even know that I would accept it. More likely, I would just ignore it. I don't like sticky situations, so it might come to my child and I never discussing it, making things worse. But, over all, I think I could handle the homosexual possibility. The added sociopath part is where my deepest concern lies. What does a homosexual sociopath entail? I mean, what is the worst that could happen? Well, my own mental depiction goes something like this:
              It is a dark and foggy night in London. The streets are empty save for the yellow streaks of moonlight and deep shadows looming in the alleyways. A man (or woman) leans against the corner of an abandoned brick loft, just out of the pool of light cast by a lone street lamp. Then you hear the click, click of someone's shoes approaching. From the sound of their footfalls, it can be assumed that the person is in a hurry. The streetlight catches the man/woman's figure. He/she is not a particularly handsome person, but he/she will do for the night. He/she carries a leather briefcase, wears a finely pressed pantsuit, hugging his/her figure to perfection.

              The man (or woman) hiding in the shadows takes this person's inattentive behavior as a moment of truth. "This is the one." He/she follows the unsuspecting victim for a block. The mist is rising off the street, as the asphalt warms the cool night air. Vic (the abbreviated form of victim, given to the man or woman soon to be overtaken) stops to light up a cigarette.  "Wonderful timing!" He/she slips his/her arm around Vic's neck and places a hand over his/her mouth,then drags Vic into the alleyway. Taking the cigarette, he/she takes pleasure in placing the cherry against Vic's polished skin. Vic yelps, giving my son/daughter a tingly warm feeling in his/her loins, causing him/her to do the Hannibal Lector "sipping sound."

(Courtesy of watching too many movies.)

              Ok, so you get the picture. It doesn't end well. :( See why it is so difficult for me to want to have children?? Is this a totally insane thought; have I just read too many Mary Higgins Clark and James Patterson novels? Or is this a legit fear? I mean, it'd be one thing if it were one or the other. Of course, the sociopath part in itself is just plain scary! So why does my mind put the two together? I honestly hope this doesn't offend anyone. I am not making this fear up, and I am certainly not lying that I have no fear of my child being simply homosexual. But the two together just seems terrifying. Maybe I am the one that needs help.
           Another example of Google's ineptitude: I Googled homosexual sociopath, and this image was among the top ten.

Scary, right?