Why Do You Need These?

A list of products that don't make sense...
 

 I chose this image, especially, because it adequately summarizes the real purpose behind the shake weight. A man must have designed this for amusement purposes. Ok, so I understand wanting to tone up that excess arm flab. That's totally legit. However, why go spend $20 on a product that you can get for free? If you haven't picked up on my meaning, I'll lay it out there for you. The Shake Weight is probably the most R rated product I have ever seen. It looks like you are practicing for a career in hand jobs. Please, if you buy a Shake Weight, don't do what this poor woman has done; just stay behind closed doors, and save your pride, ladies and gentlemen.

This just seems desperate. Who on Earth is going to see you with this towel wrapped around your midsection? I suppose if you are at the gym showers, or prison. Somehow, I fail to see the likelihood of your gym pals thinking, "Gosh, that guy sure is hilarious!" More likely, they will think "that's probably the only action that guy is getting. PAHAHAHAHA!!"

Well, ladies, I just don't think this one deserves much of an explanation. Whoever came up with this is obviously not getting laid. Wearing a thong is supposed to be about sex appeal, so if you are wearing a diaper along with that sexy black lace piece of string, you should go ahead and forget about the date you have lined up for that night. As if pads weren't uncomfortable enough, this product makes them even more uncomfortable by placing them on the one piece of underwear that is known to cause massive wedgies, internationally....Take that Mother Nature. Seriously, just wear a damn tampon, and stop with the madness!

This woman is obviously practicing her camouflage skills. Perhaps for the Hunger Games? Zebra stripes do not make you look mysterious. Rather, you look like you are preparing for a jungle safari. No, but really. When did it ever become so difficult to put on eye shadow that women needed fake tattoos to feel beautiful? If you are going to choose to purchase these ungodly lazy products, please keep it in a natural hue. I'm willing to bet that getting those stickers on just perfectly takes a lot of trial and error...error that I, for one, am not willing to make.

Check out how EASILY this thing cracks that egg. As if it was so difficult to crack an egg. Please. If you don't know how to crack an egg without this device, you shouldn't be cooking. Think about all the time you would waste getting the egg into that...that...contraption! It looks like a torture device!

This is one of my favorite useless products. I saw them for the first time on Jack Nicholson in "The Bucket List." You can read while laying flat! Not like it was impossible to do that before these glasses were invented. Maybe these are for paralysis patients? Her posture looks very uncomfortable. I can't imagine reading laying down would be any more comfortable than propping yourself up on some fluffy pillows. You know, they invented a pillow just for that? The study buddy...truly an ingenious invention.

This looks very uncomfortable for the animal, does it not? Just imagine how you would feel if a plastic bag was tied to your anus. While it does seem infinitely better than having to pick up wet dog poop with a plastic bag and your hand, I can't see the appeal of having to walk my dog with a plastic bag tied to his butt. Must be humiliating for both parties. It sort of looks like an accident waiting to happen, anyways. I have to wonder if removing the bag after fill up is as easy as they make it sound. 

  

 I threw this in the mix just for shits and giggles. It must be the male version of the Shake Weight. Really...just look at the guy on the left's concentration! He is VERY motivated. ;)

This is for you big busted men and women. For a peaceful night's sleep, you just place this bad boy directly between your cleavage. Imagine, if you will, you are laying next to your loved one, preparing for a restful sleep with your titty buddy in place. What a lovely picture. If the shape wasn't bad enough, I'm sure the pinching from the plastic will surely get you down. As a well endowed woman, I can ensure you that sleeping on your side is not as painful as having a plastic cylindrical object between your boobs.

 This one tops the cake, surely. That baby definitely DOES NOT look like he/she is suffocating. Mom's snuggie fits snugly around baby's head, providing both mother and child a warm surrounding. This is the perfect product for taking walks on crisp winter mornings, allowing Mom to take her baby with her everywhere: the park, the grocery store, the mall, the strip club, ice fishing, everywhere! Just look how happy your baby will be. :)

      
       Ok, that sums this blog up, for now. If you have seen interesting, unusual, lazy, ridiculous products, please share them with us! We'd love to give you some commentary. I do want to apologize if this blog offended any one. It was not intended to be offensive, only humorous. Please, keep an open mind when reading. Leave us some commentary, if you please! :) We appreciate our readers. Keep it real, and always happy pooping.